Humor18 Dec 2007 03:56 pm
Humor
Archived Posts from this Category
Humor24 May 2007 01:47 pm
The night before last, I noticed the little penguin knickknacks I have on my desk were missing. The next morning I sent this e-mail:
| Date: | Wed, 23 May 2007 11:55:39 -0400 [05/23/2007 11:55:39 AM EDT] |
| From: | kingpenguin@homes.com |
| To: | kingpenguin@homes.com |
| Subject: | To whomever has my brethren captive |
|
Mr. Ambassador, My fellow penguins are no longer at their post on the ledge of Tux Castle. This is unacceptable. They are being held against their will, and our “employers” are now without the assurance that anyone that comes near Tux Castle will know that they are now in the Linux Nation. The people of Linux Nation are now in a state of unrest, because those ever vigilant vanguards of Vision are captives of the Empire of Microsoft. We will rise up! If my brethren are not returned forthwith, we will be forced to invade and take them by any means at our disposal! Do not tarry, for we will not warn you further! Only then will we talk of truces or peace. Sincerely, King Penguin |
| Date: | Thu, 24 May 2007 15:32:56 -0400 [05/24/2007 03:32:56 PM EDT] |
| From: | vivalarevolucion@homes.com |
| To: | kingpenguin@homes.com |
| Subject: | The Great Penguin Adventure |
| To His Royal Highness, the King Penguin:
Your brethren have been returned. They can be found in the Break Room. Their memory has been wiped – questioning them for our identity will prove to be a fruitless effort. You should know that at no point did they betray you; they remained loyal during interrogation. For images of the adventure, please visit. Viva la Revolucion! |
| Date: | Thu, 24 May 2007 17:26:32 -0400 [05/24/2007 05:26:32 PM EDT] |
| From: | kingpenguin@homes.com |
| To: | vivalarevolucion@homes.com |
| Subject: | A new day dawns on the Linux Nation |
| Our ever vigilant vanguards of Vision are back home! They are currently being debriefed in an undisclosed location before they are returned to their post. Our medical examiners have determined that they are in perfect health and ready for service.
Our spies have, however, uncovered the identity of the kidnapper and he is the leader of a known revolutionary organization. We have sent out our own ambassador to invite the leaders of the revolution to a neutral location to discuss the terms of our peace agreement. In celebration of the homecoming of our brethren and the possibility of a successful negotiation, I am declaring today, May 24th, as a new national holiday. With much love for his subjects, King Penguin |
Humor18 Oct 2006 11:34 pm
Me: What do you want to eat?
Wife: I don’t know.
Me: Pick something or fuck me, either way you’ll have to do something you don’t like.
*scoffing and pause*
Wife: Do you want Taco Bell or Wendy’s?
Humor16 Oct 2006 09:58 am
One of those random Yahoo IM’ers
(09:40:41) Stranger: hi!
(09:42:17) Me: mornin
(09:42:38) Stranger: oh.. its night over here
(09:42:52) Stranger: how are u?
(09:43:03) Me: Peachy.
(09:43:35) Stranger: wat u mean peachy?
(09:44:31) Me: Peachy, dandy, doing ok enough not to bring in a fully automatic weapon and start venting out frustrations in the office. 
(09:44:59) Stranger logged out.
